Fire Emblem Beach Blast
by Ivanfanatic
Summary: The gang of Fire Emblem 7 spends the day at the beach!


Ah, it was summer. Sweat could be seen pouring down on the faces of some of the mercenaries in the Lordlings of Lycia trio's little group. A couple of them looked sort of dehydrated, and not to mention a certain few were starting to complain, just a little bit, about the heat.

"&$#! THIS HEAT!" Hector whirled around and punched the nearest guy. Wil was lucky enough to be walking behind Hector at the time so in addition to heat, he now had a large lump of swelling for a nose. "ELIWOOD WE'RE GOING INDOORS TODAY!"

"I'm sorry, Hector." Eliwood shook his head. "It's just a little ways more to the Nabata desert."

"Why the &$ are we going to the Nabata in the middle of &$#! July!?"

"Lord Pent said something about locating a handful of artifacts. I figured they would be helpful in defeating Nergal...What's July?"

"A &$#! SUMMER MONTH ACCORDING TO MARK'S CALENDER!" Hector slammed his fist into the next guy, who was ironically, Guy.

"Lord Hector, Calm down!" Matthew frowned. Guy now sat on the ground next to Matthew rubbing his cheek. Priscilla tried to make an effort at going over to heal him but Raven kept make brash threats about locking her in a chastity belt. "I know you can't handle the heat too well but taking out your anger on party members is not a goo-" WHAM! "...neffermine..."

"You know... " Canas busily wiped his eye spectacle on the corner of his cloak before putting it back on his eye. "The coastline isn't too far from here at all. Why don't we take a day off or two and spend it at the beach for awhile?"

"Do you really think Nergal is going to sit around and wait for us to show up and defeat him?" Eliwood questioned.

"Yes."

"Shut up, Erk."

"Hm... Annoying magic kid right." Hawkeye nodded. "Other annoying kid still here. Nergal need annoying kid #2 for evil plan."

"I'm sorry?" Eliwood looked from Hawkeye over to Lord Pent, who was busy picking his nose. "...Lord Pent?"

"Oh, sorry." Lord Pent quickly turned around to face Eliwood. "What Hawkeye was saying was that since Nils is still here, Nergal cannot open the Dragon's Gate without him."

"Actually he can-" Kate started to protest but Raven clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Shut up!" He hissed. "Eliwood and Hector don't know that because they're stupid and if you tell them we won't get any days off! Don't tell them that! That's an order from your king!"

"Okaaaaay." Kate shrugged and rolled her eyes up.

"But what about Ninian?" Mark spoke up. Eliwood immediatly burst into tears and clung to Lyn. Hector rolled his eyes and looked over at Mark.

"For the 10th time, don't say that name."

"What name?"

"Ninian."

"WAAAAAAAAAH!" Sob. Choke.

"BAD Lord Hector!"

"&$#! You Kate."

"Hm.... Beach this way." Hawkeye picked up his axe and started walking off in the direction of the beach. Soon after everyone else followed them, leaving Eliwood and Hector with no choice but to comply and follow. After about a handful of hours walking time, everyone arrived at what was to be a tropical oasis.

"Hm..." Sain looked around. Dart and Geitz were busy setting up some sort of beach shack, Pent and Louise were busy building a sand castle while Nils ran through it and made Pent cry, and Lucius was running around in a hula skirt. Then it finally hit him. Girls Beach Bikinis. An evil grin followed by a crazy laugh spread about Sain's face as he dashed over to the huts used as changing rooms. Sure enough, Fiora, Farina, Serra, Rebecca, Priscilla, and even Florina all walked out of the hut, all decked out in multi colored bikinis bought from Dart & Geitz Beach Shack.

"OMIGOSH I just look SO cute!" Serra sighed.

"Not really." Farina snorted. "You're so flat chested. Look, your top is falling down."

"I am NOT flat chested and my top is NO- excuse me, ladies." Serra turned and stormed back into the changing room, causing the rest of the girls to go into a giggling fit.

"What lovely flowers have come out to show their stems today?" Sain greeted cheerfully.

"Ugh... Sain, go away." Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"But-"

"Sain. Shoo." Farina waved at him. "You're blocking my sunlight."

"Ha... MAN! Why is it always me?" Sain kicked the sand. Lowen and Kent were already dressed in swimming trunks and Lowen was busy eating an ice cream cone.

"Maybe its your hair." Lowen suggested. Sain gave him a wry look. "What?"

"You have yet to learn the ways of women, my friend."

"No way!" Lowen shook his head. "Rebecca is SCARY."

"Sain, I think you're putting too much effort into this campaign. Try ignoring the girls for awhile and see what happens." Kent suggested. "Let them come to you."

"I'm the one who should be giving out the love advice, not recieving it!" Sain pulled at his hair. "Oh forget it... I'm going to go change out of this armor." Sain started walking towards the changing hut, talking to himself. "Hm... maybe we can get a game of beach volleyball with the girls going... Yeah, that's it! I can show off my really cool skills and they'll all fall in love with me! Sain, you're a genius!"

"...He never learns, does he." Lowen looked at Kent. Kent shook his head.

"Nope... There goes your ice cream."

"WHA? Aw... man!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh its hooooot and I'm so sexaaaaaaaah!" Bartre sang as he took off his shirt. He turned around and looked at a hoard of girls who were pretty disgusted and grinned. "Aye! You like me body!"

"EWWWWWWWWWWW!" Serra, Priscilla, and Rebecca started to shake and ran behind Rath. Rath was seated in a lifeguard stand and had sunglasses on, silent as always. "First Sain and now you!? ICKY!"

"Bartre!" Karla snapped, her thick Romanian-like accent adding more emphasis to her voice. "Aye, what are you doing!? Put your shirt back on like a decent man! It's unhonorable to show your chesthairs to other women!"

"Ah, that is the old country, woman!" Bartre retorted, using the same dialect as she. "This is the new country!"

"Do not call me woman!" Karla whacked Bartre upside the head with her scabbard. "When this be done we will return to the old country like planned to start our family!"

"Neh, I do not wish to return to the old country!" Bartre protested. "Back in the old country we were poor! I could not read! I could not right! I could not even fart in public without being humiliated! Yet here in Lycia, I find a better life! I want to start a better life for the sake all of our future children! There is nothing but famine and misfortune in the old country!"

"Bah, if we must stay we must stay!" Karla threw her arms up into the air. "And hopefully you will find job to put bread on the table like a decent man! Until then, put your shirt back on! Your chesthairs are making me dizzy!"

"I think Bartre just gets more scarier by the day..." Nino looked over from the sand castle she was making with Pent. Karla and Bartre were still fighting while Rath continously blew a whistle at Raven to stop trying to drown Erk.

"Usually one would grow out of childish demenors but not always." Pent said. Just then Nils dashed through the newly built sand castle laughing like a maniac. Pent's eyes immediately welled up with tears and Nino sighed. She knew what was coming.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sob. "NINO! NILS DESTROYED MY SAND CASTLE!" Pent covered his eyes with his hands and cried. Nils circled around, ready to run through it again, but Hector grabbed Nils by the leg and started off for the dock.

"It's ok, Pent, don't cry!" Nino hugged the crying Pent.

"B-but h-he wrecked m-my castle!"

"I know, I know... hey listen, lets just build a new one, ok? Hector took the mean old Nils away so he can't destroy the castle anymore."

"..."

"Do you want to build another Castle, Penty?"

"Yes..."

"That's a good boy." Nino smiled and patted his head before she grabbed the bucket.

"She bangs! She bangs! Oh baby like she moves! She moves!" Lucius did a hip thrust. He was dressed in a hula skirt and had a lei crowning the top of his head. Kate's radio sat not-so-quietly in the shade, blaring some CD Mark had and Lucius was having the time of his life dancing.

"I hate swimming, I hate Raven, and I hate water."

"Erky!" Lucius turned off the radio. "...What happened to you?!" Erk was completely drenched had bits and pieces of seaweed sticking out of his hair.

"One word. Raven."

"That was actually three but I won't count the first two." Lucius pulled a piece of seaweed out of Erk's hair. "You know this stuff is actually supposed to be good for you."

"Well I don't want it in my hair." Erk untied his cape and wrung it out before tossing it on the lounging chair. Before he started to take off his shirt, he looked a Lucius for a second, starring hard. "Lucius... why the flux are you in a hula skirt!?

"I was dancing!" Lucius frowned. He placed his hands on his hips and glared at Erk. "It would look funny if I was in a pair of swimming trunks!"

"You look funny right now. You're in a skirt, a cocoa nut bra, and you have a thing of flowers in your hair."

"It's called a LEI, Erky."

"Whatever... So are you going to go do anything or just stay here and dance?"

"Well actually I wanted to go swimming..." Lucius looked passed Erk. "Rath's on life guard duty."

"Lucius..."

"What?" Lucius blinked. "Rath's a good life guard! I would actually feel SAFE!"

"Right... listen, if you're going swimming, will you at least put on a pair of swimming trunks?"

"Of course!" Lucius burst out laughing as he walked towards Dart & Geitz Beach Shack with Erk trailing behind. "What did you think I was going to wear? A bikini?"

"...no comment..."

"I want ice cream please!"

"Ice cream coming up!"

"Can I have a fruit juice smoothie?"

"One smoothie, coming up!"

"Where's my ice cream!?"

"Here you go, sorry about that."

"SMOOTHIE! NOW!"

"HERE!"

"Dart..." Geitz sighed once everyone was cleared out. "We need to hire another person... You know, just for clean up or something."

"Aye, I hear ya. One step ahead of ya, too." Dart snorted and opened the back door. Wil stood at the backdoor, an overly happy grin on his face and waving like crazy.

"The midget?"

"Yeah... he says I grew up with 'im. Can't be all that bad then." Dart grunted. "You're hired, Wil."

"YAAAAAAAY!" Wil cheered. "What do I do??"

"You... well..."

"Hey! A customer!" Wil zoomed over to the register where Serra and Rebecca were waiting. "Hi! Welcome to...to... to the shop!"

"I thought Dart and Geitz worked here." Rebecca blinked.

"They do! I just got hired!" Wil beamed, then looked down at Serra. "...What happened with Serra?"

"Nothings wrong with me!" Serra shifted uneasily. "W-why would you ask?"

"I don't know... You just look different!"

"Is it a good thing?"

"Heck yeah!"

"Good." Serra smirked. Rebecca rolled her eyes and went back to looking at the menu. "I'll just have a kiwi-strawberry juice."

"K! And what about you, Lady Serra?" Wil winked. Serra's smirk and ego inflated a tad.

"Oh, what should I get..."

"Just hurry up and order."

"Oh hush, Rebecca. Don't talk to your seniors like that." Serra retorted. "I'll just take a pineapple smoothie."

"Alrighty!" Wil dashed about to get the drinks ready.

"He's not too bad." Geitz looked at Dart. Dart was leaning on the mop as he watched Wil dash around. "How much are we going to pay him?"

"Ain't sure yet." Dart stood up and went back to mopping. "We'll see how much gold we have by the end of the day and worry about it then."

"Works for me."

Just as Dart finished mopping the floor, Wil turned around a little too fast. With both drinks in hand he skidded over the floor and crashed into the counter, sending the drinks flying and colliding all over the girls.

"COLD!!" Rebecca started to shriek. "WIL!"

"OMIGOSH! I'm so sorry!" Wil handed her a towel. He turned to hand Serra another towel but ended up blushing like mad.

"...Wil?"

"Serra...your... "

"What-AHHHHH! PERVERT!" SLAP SLAP SLAP

"What is with the guys today?" Rebecca asked Serra as the two of them walked off. Serra shook her head, the two girls leaving Wil in the dust. Geitz and Dart were quiet for a minute until Geitz spoke up.

"He's fired, isn't he."

"Mmmhmm."


End file.
